As I sit here and write this, I’m feeling two things. One, like my body is filled with sinking sand. Two, burnt-toast tired.
Now, the wise thing to do would be to tuck away the laptop and go to bed. But of course, after brushing my teeth, braiding my hair and dabbing myself with lavender oil…
Strangely, I feel more like writing than sleeping.
And yes, I did spend the whole day writing. For other people.
But there’s something about sitting here, in the dark, a single candle lighting the room (and the probably-still-bad-for-my-pineal-gland yellow glow of the computer screen)…
That calms me.
On a normal night, I’d be in bed by 10:30.
But tonight hasn’t been a normal night.
It’s been a… well… a growth night (which is my fancy word for a night that’s tested my nerves, in more ways than one).
Normally, I’d just pull a t-shirt over my face and try to sleep (it’s softer than a face mask, don’t judge me)…
But tonight, I feel like something wants to be delivered to YOU, my beloved reader, somehow, through me.
And it’s coming in hot.
Here’s the thing…
I have spent my WHOLE LIFE stressed.
As in, something happens, it’s like a gun going off… and I’m running.
And I’m tired of it.
Tired of waking up relaxed for a few minutes before diving right into a million tasks without so much as a cup of tea.
Tired of going to sleep worrying.
Tired of not walking to my next task, but jogging.
I run too much. I stress too much. I’m done.
Did I type that loud enough?
So… now that I’m done (with the stressin’), what’s next?
As I lean my head back to imagine it, I feel somehow ready. Now, mind you… stressing is a habit.
And to break a habit properly, you need to replace it with a better habit.
I’m not sitting here thinking my stressing is going to go away tomorrow. But I feel it: I’m ready.
And please, Dear Reader… if you feel ready too, say it with me: Goodbye, stress.
Hello, relaxation. Hello, acceptance. Hello, slowing down. Hello, walking-not-running. Hello, hello, hello…
Sooo… what’s next?
I have no idea tonight. But somehow, I think I’ll figure it out. Tomorrow. Whenever.
Until then, sweet (stress-less) dreams to you.
🧡 🙌 💪