Is Your Desire Getting In the Way of Your Happiness?
March 2, 2020
I’m up late again. Another one of “those” nights.
And as that knee-jerk reaction to judge myself kicks in, I can’t help but think…
How else am I going to carve out this time to write?
Yes, I love to write. And, I’m also a mom. And, a friend. And, I have a bless-fully packed schedule as a freelance copywriter for a wide array of wonderful people.
But what about that “me” time?
I know, it feels selfish to write that. But why is it so hard to carve out that time to sit with my thoughts and write like this?
Why do I prioritize other things over that?
(So much that it isn’t until I’ve climbed into bed that I remember… Oh yeah, I forgot to write for me.)
Writing is my thing. It’s what I love to do, and it’s exactly what I was put on this Earth for (well, one of the things).
And it’s also one of the things that makes me feel at my happiest, most fulfilled, and best-best-best… just doing it.
I’ve spent years working to love myself. Years trying to find my voice, my style, my [fill in the blank].
In the past, I struggled to get-the-right-words; say what-I-meant, feel satisfied to simply write.
And frankly, I’m over it.
There comes a point where preparation is complete, and you’re ready to fly.
I’m at that point now.
Now, it’s just time to schedule in time to allow myself to do what I lovemore. Because I want to.
But, like any fledgling bird… I’m perched at the edge of my safe, comfortable nest.
And I’m asking… what will it take to leave the comfort of this safe placeand dive into the wide world beyond?
I can feel a swell rising in my chest as I become more and more ready to dive.
It could happen this week, the next, or the next…
Or maybe… it’s happening right now.
It’s that feeling of ripeness, where your own sweetness makes the bough hang lower.
You’re ripe. You’re ready. And with little effort, a new journey begins.
Do all of us reach this point of ripeness? It seems like… if you tend your roots and wish to grow, eventually you do.
But I can’t tell you how ready I was to be ripe 20 years ago.
If you have a goal in mind – something you want to do, be or create…
Like James Hillman describes in his book The Soul’s Code, that’s your purpose, the misunderstood “daemon.”
It won’t leave you alone until you fulfill it.
Your desire is planted in you like a seed of potential.
Water it, and eventually… it ripens.
Happiness, satisfaction, joy. All of these emotions and experiences become a reality as a result of nurturing that seed until it grows, and then finally blossoms.
Neglect it, and it destroys you from the inside.
So what’s your seed of potential? What are you hoping to nurture into form?
What do you lay awake thinking about?
And… how can you bring that dream into form?
It could be as simple as carving an hour out every two or three days to cook, or go to a yard sale and find items to paint, or use to decorate your home.
Alternatively, you could create a craft corner in your house. Or a wood workshop in your garage. Then, go there to play.
If those things don’t ring a bell, then what lights you up?
What brings more joy into your life? It doesn’t have to be perfect. But something about that… leads to your joy.
So follow it. And come back here to tell me about it.
And, if you’re thinking you don’t have more time, aren’t talented enough, are too old…
Remember this: Yes, all those things feel real and true now. But if you take one step, and another, and then another… eventually you won’t feel that way anymore.
And that’s when you’re ripe.
So whatever’s in the way of you following your dream and embracing what makes YOU happiest…
Start anyway. One step, and then another, and then another.
It might not mean much coming from this stranger on the internet, but I believe in you.
And I know you can do it. If you want it.
(That last sentence is the secret key.)
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